Yes Mom

WAM YesMom

Many years ago, before I had babies, I read something about being a “Yes Mom.”  I don’t remember where I even read it, but it has stuck with me all these years.

The author said that she found herself saying no to her children just because that was the usual response that had become habit. When she stopped and thought about it, she realized most of the time there was no reason she couldn’t say yes. Being a yes mom means that you let go a little bit. You push aside the feelings of being in complete control of everything and you just say yes.

“Can we have lunch in the living room like a picnic?”    Yes!

“Can I pick out a shirt to wear today?”    Yes!

“Can we ride the elevator again?”    Yes!

“Can we bring this {sandy} shovel in the house?”    Yes!

“Can I bring my {not super tiny} tool bench in the car with me?”   Umm, ok…Yes!

You get the idea. Our children are so used to hearing us tell them no, but why?  Is it something that is going to hurt them or someone else? Are they making a mess that would ruin something like the carpet, walls, etc.? Is there somewhere else you are expected to be right now like an appointment?  If the answer to all of these questions is no, then why not say yes?

The first time your child asks to ride the elevator again after you just got off, and you say yes, they will be ecstatic! And why not?  Are those two minutes going to cause a problem? If so, then don’t do it, but most of the time we can afford to make their day by doing something so small.

Without fail, every single time I get excited about an outfit that I really want Mason to wear, that’s the day he wants to choose for himself. Now, if we’re heading to family pictures or somewhere fancy, of course I don’t let him wear whatever he wants! Most days, however, we’re just playing with friends or running errands and there’s no reason he can’t wear the shirt that makes him happy, even if he looks a little mismatched.

Sometimes I don’t want to clean up the mess that I know painting will make, but I also know that it’s awesome that he wants to be creative.

Does a little bit of sand on the floor drive me nuts? Of course, but it’ll get vacuumed up. Why not let him use that simple plastic shovel and his imagination to keep him entertained for the next hour?

Please be aware that this is in a whole different boat than spoiling your child.  When Mason asks for a new toy at the store, the answer is not automatically yes. When he asks to have chocolate for breakfast, yes is not the first thing that comes out of my mouth. (There’s a time and place to have candy for breakfast!)  He doesn’t get whatever he wants whenever he wants it. It’s about the harmless things that have you saying, “Why not?” It’s about giving him new and fun experiences and making memories.

It makes my day to be able to say, “Yes!”  because the smile I get in return is SO worth it!

Are you a Yes Mom? What’s the most fun thing you’ve let your kids do, even if it drove you crazy!?